You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
