Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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