I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
