sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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