Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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