He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
