First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
