i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
