Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
