i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
