I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
