The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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