Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
