$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
