Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
