woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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