i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
