yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
