Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
