I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
