Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
