Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He better not be in your backpack
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
