bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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