I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
