I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
