So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
