This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
