who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize