I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
