Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
