Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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