ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just tell him i said nine months
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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