very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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