i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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