nut hugger
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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