no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
