remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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