Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
