all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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