He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
