he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
