So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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