is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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