I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
