the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I can't turn off my feet"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
