Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
