I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
