Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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