Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
