Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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