Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
