Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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