Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
