The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Will exercising make me less horny?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
