i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
